re-visiting
delhi--> shimla--> vashisht--> manikaran
somehow, here i am in a tiny mountain village that i have not seen in over four years. i'm actually relieved to find that little has changed. it remains a small pilgrimage town, mostly untouched by the nearby israeli/charas smoking invasion that is sweeping the parvati valley. the last time that i came here was quite a profound experience for me, maybe not just because of the place but the place where i was inside as well. it was here that i first shaved my head. i used a gillette sensor ladies razor which meant that it took about 2 hours. i didn't have a specific reason for it, just a feeling of independence, of freedom and of searching.
returning now, amidst much emotion and confusion, i again take refuge in this place. hot springs pour out of the ground on all sides, obscuring the narrow lanes with sulfurous clouds. i eat every meal at the sikh gurudwara, with rice and chana that are cooked in the springs themselves. sitting on the platform of the shiva temple, feeling the heat of the earth below and the cool crashing spray of the parvati river just beneath. and it's here that i really start to feel india again- that part of her that brings me back. the strange feeling that can best be compared to sadness but in a good way. that exquisite ripping feeling of my heart being torn open once again. opened to experience, open to my karma and to whatever it is that is here. and the feeling that no matter what happens, it will be alright.
somehow, here i am in a tiny mountain village that i have not seen in over four years. i'm actually relieved to find that little has changed. it remains a small pilgrimage town, mostly untouched by the nearby israeli/charas smoking invasion that is sweeping the parvati valley. the last time that i came here was quite a profound experience for me, maybe not just because of the place but the place where i was inside as well. it was here that i first shaved my head. i used a gillette sensor ladies razor which meant that it took about 2 hours. i didn't have a specific reason for it, just a feeling of independence, of freedom and of searching.
returning now, amidst much emotion and confusion, i again take refuge in this place. hot springs pour out of the ground on all sides, obscuring the narrow lanes with sulfurous clouds. i eat every meal at the sikh gurudwara, with rice and chana that are cooked in the springs themselves. sitting on the platform of the shiva temple, feeling the heat of the earth below and the cool crashing spray of the parvati river just beneath. and it's here that i really start to feel india again- that part of her that brings me back. the strange feeling that can best be compared to sadness but in a good way. that exquisite ripping feeling of my heart being torn open once again. opened to experience, open to my karma and to whatever it is that is here. and the feeling that no matter what happens, it will be alright.
posted by natalie at 4:36 AM
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