o great white north, o land of the silver birch!
so it's been exactly two weeks since i arrived back in canada.
last night i stayed up with eb, jarrad and kristy watching david lynch and eating homemade pie. after 3 hours of sleep i arose to go shower and feed grant's 2 legged cat (the incomparable and incomprehensible margle). i then headed over to eb's where we rendezvous'd with a man named tony who drove us to a farm up island. there we watched naked people painted all white be birthed from the tall meadow grasses and proceed to dance around in a style called butoh, an avante garde japanese dance form. we returned home and i wobbled fitfully in and out of sunny sleep.
this weeekend has been somewhat indicative of my mind set at the moment. happy amongst friends and familiar territory, but at the same time confused, disconnected and a little overwhelmed at this world. it's so strange to imagine the life i was living in india not so many days ago and to compare it with my current situation. it almost feels like half of the equation is a fiction, a dream, but i don't know which half. somehow i felt more grounded living a solitary life in a far off land than i do in the place where i spent so many happy years. strange.
last night i stayed up with eb, jarrad and kristy watching david lynch and eating homemade pie. after 3 hours of sleep i arose to go shower and feed grant's 2 legged cat (the incomparable and incomprehensible margle). i then headed over to eb's where we rendezvous'd with a man named tony who drove us to a farm up island. there we watched naked people painted all white be birthed from the tall meadow grasses and proceed to dance around in a style called butoh, an avante garde japanese dance form. we returned home and i wobbled fitfully in and out of sunny sleep.
this weeekend has been somewhat indicative of my mind set at the moment. happy amongst friends and familiar territory, but at the same time confused, disconnected and a little overwhelmed at this world. it's so strange to imagine the life i was living in india not so many days ago and to compare it with my current situation. it almost feels like half of the equation is a fiction, a dream, but i don't know which half. somehow i felt more grounded living a solitary life in a far off land than i do in the place where i spent so many happy years. strange.
posted by natalie at 7:25 PM
1 Comments:
well m'dear, all i can say is give it some time. it took me probably a year to fully readjust, to start to feel connected to place and people, to feel grounded and normal. and of course victoria is very different from the last time you lived there, and perhaps is no longer home. but i have to say i feel really happy being here now, and i feel like i've found a few places that truly do feel like home in canada, and i am looking forward to going back to vancouver to dig some roots. of course if india is what is home to you then that is great too, but canada is not such a bad place either, and there are lots of people here doing wonderful, inspiring things. i know it's easy to focus on the bad when you first come home, because all the capitalism and money and unhappiness and disconnected communities and depressing old suburbia and car culture and all that junk stand in such stark contrast to places like india. but there are good and bad things everywhere, and i still maintain that there are a lot of people in this country that care, that are trying their best to overcome some of this disconnect with the world, and i feel a sense of hope living here. the same can be said for india too, though, and really, if that's where you need to be then more power to you. just don't give up on us too easily, as there is just as much beauty hidden beneath the surface here as anywhere, and friends who love you to boot. (i am writing this while looking at my desktop background picture: the sun setting on the golden temple. that was with you!)
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