pug fuckers
want to find an authentic malaysian vegetarian curry in victoria? you can head to ferris' bar and grill. they've got the recipe down, including the random chunk of mystery meat floating around inside. awesome. just like all of those vegetarian delights found in south east asia. too bad that the problem here isn't speaking another language, it's stupid kitchen staff. thanks, pug fuckers.
i don't really think that i want to eat in restaurants anymore. pretty much every time i do i have a semi-sick sense of paranoia, fairly certain that there's going to be some sort of dead animal bit in my meal. the aforementioned chicken(?) chunk is a graphic example, but what about the fish sauce in thai food, the beef tallow in doughnuts, the gelatin in desserts, the pig fat in bread....? poo. eating out seems more and more like a stressful activity than an enjoyable one. and i've signed up for another 6 months of restaurant meals, always dreading what might be on the plate. is it going to be a dead goat or is it going to be lentils tainted with e coli bacteria? little fishies with a salmonella side dish? i guess that i should be grateful for having food at all, not complaining about the luxury of eating out. i'm really just annoyed with myself ultimately. if i'm so concerned about this issue i should just take control of it, take control of my desire of this luxury and avoid these situations that i don't want to be in. not eating dead animals is important to me and so i should be more careful not to do it. to do it out of need would be one thing, to risk it out of laziness is another. it's just getting to the point where i don't trust anyone to prepare food for me. that's not a good way to live. it's just hard to control a fear that is not rooted in a rational, intellectual part of myself... i hate trying to explain my vegetarianism for that very reason. it's just a part of me, what i am, not what i necessarily choose or want. i wish i didn't care so much, i wish i wasn't paranoid, i wish that i could go to china/pakistan/turkey/local vegetarian friendly restaurants without feeling sick at the possibility that my food is contaminated. can the soul be dirtied by accidents?
on a side note- there's a tarantula about 10 feet away from me. it is climbing up the glass.... time for another book on the lid before i got to bed?
i don't really think that i want to eat in restaurants anymore. pretty much every time i do i have a semi-sick sense of paranoia, fairly certain that there's going to be some sort of dead animal bit in my meal. the aforementioned chicken(?) chunk is a graphic example, but what about the fish sauce in thai food, the beef tallow in doughnuts, the gelatin in desserts, the pig fat in bread....? poo. eating out seems more and more like a stressful activity than an enjoyable one. and i've signed up for another 6 months of restaurant meals, always dreading what might be on the plate. is it going to be a dead goat or is it going to be lentils tainted with e coli bacteria? little fishies with a salmonella side dish? i guess that i should be grateful for having food at all, not complaining about the luxury of eating out. i'm really just annoyed with myself ultimately. if i'm so concerned about this issue i should just take control of it, take control of my desire of this luxury and avoid these situations that i don't want to be in. not eating dead animals is important to me and so i should be more careful not to do it. to do it out of need would be one thing, to risk it out of laziness is another. it's just getting to the point where i don't trust anyone to prepare food for me. that's not a good way to live. it's just hard to control a fear that is not rooted in a rational, intellectual part of myself... i hate trying to explain my vegetarianism for that very reason. it's just a part of me, what i am, not what i necessarily choose or want. i wish i didn't care so much, i wish i wasn't paranoid, i wish that i could go to china/pakistan/turkey/local vegetarian friendly restaurants without feeling sick at the possibility that my food is contaminated. can the soul be dirtied by accidents?
on a side note- there's a tarantula about 10 feet away from me. it is climbing up the glass.... time for another book on the lid before i got to bed?
posted by natalie at 10:45 PM
1 Comments:
'can the soul be dirtied by accidents?'
- naked monk.
hmm, well there's fate which could be an accident, the gods who dance outside of our ken so we're struck by all sorts of presence we can only butt against but dirtied i dont think so, we're too filthy already, even the saints with their tightly monitored speeds of absolution...
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