ode to mae salong

and now we unfurl like two buds of fresh oolong awakened by a bath of steaming water.

aaaaaaah.

from the dusts of chiang rai we climb a windy mountain road in the early morning. a patchwork of tea plantations and rugged terrain zoom past our struggling songtheow filled with 11 people and enough supplies for the coming apocalypse. sometimes it seems we are about to roll back down the slope or perhaps go cartwhelling end over end. after and hour we arrive in mae salong, beautiful mae salong, and are at the doorstep of a friendly guesthouse owner named mr ho. we explore the market, finding huge peapods, oddly shaped gourds, orchids and plants of no recognisable nature being sold by hilltribe women in traditional dress. i had to wonder if you would see some of these things anywhere else in the world. we walk around in the quiet village, startled by occaisional explosions of firecrackers. our arrival in the largely chinese city falls on the eve of the new year. after much searching we are given delicious cups of the famous mae salong tea. the leaves float like green pearls, slowly unfolding and dancing their way to the bottom of the cup. the tongue is given a taste of unequaled freshness- this is certainly no lipton yellow label (the usual fare in thailand)!

that night i try to nap a bit but can't. i find eben drinking whisky with mr ho and the other, slightly scared, guesthouse residents. somehow mr ho persuades us all to go to the karaoke bar to celebrate his new year with him. a swirl of free beer, many glass clinks and interesting conversations with people from all over the world ensues, spiked by asian pop music. mr ho sways slightly away from the vertical. he still manages a few songs for us.

at 1130 eben and i climb 700 steps to the mountaintop chedi in hopes of fireworks for the new year. there aren't any but one is almost glad for they would only distract from the night sky draped in diamond stars. there is a clarity only rivalled by those of dark california highways in the middle of the night. glorious.

excuse my pseudo-poetic babbling for i am full of tea!

exotic tales from far off lands filled with mystery and intrigue

first eben falls, then i, then the english woman across the hall and finally our ambiguously aged scottish neighbour next to her. a plague upon chad's guesthouse! never a lonely moment for the squat toilets, awaiting their next visitor to entertain. eben and i were particularly loyal visitors. ahh lovely mae sai- you'll go for the border run but stay for the rehydration salts. finally, we managed to make it to chiang rai where we are now, still recovering. were any bets made based on illness, cuz if so i think they can now be called. the cause is unknown. all i can say is that it feels fantastic to be getting better, even though my tum is not up to its usual herculean strength and i'm a tad weak.

so who knows what's going on now? definately not i. do you? we had a lot of swanky plans before this all occurred but we were smited (smoten?) real good. i still want to see the cherry tress but fear that it may now be too late. stupid impermanence being so...impermanent.

o yah- are my parents out there somewhere? i emailed you 5 days ago and nothing? nothing for your only daughter? well, if they've decided to ditch me can someone else possibly nag me a bit or something?

word to my mutha

let us all rejoice for the annual celebration of my mother's birth! without her i would be nought.

sorry i haven't updated things in awhile- there has been much travel and my mind has been elsewhere.

in kanchanaburi i met a french girl named lea. she convinced me to do many strange things by saying in a french accent that was just too darn cute, "i theenk it might be funneee". adorable.

we rented a motorbike and explored the africa-esque landscape between kanchanaburi and sangklaburi. we went to a very rustic woodland monastary that worked as a wildlife rescue centre for animals saved from poachers. lea kept stalking animals saying "i want to tooch! i want to tooch!" i suggested that perhaps she shouldn't. ironically, i was the one who got bitten by a tiger that was roaming around. it was a baby and tried to play with me by grabbing my arm in its' vice-like jaws. the monks stood around smiling even after my comment of, "ummm... i think he's actually biting me...." only a ripped shirt, a bruise and a few drops of blood and i get an awesome story. i also got to pet full size tigers, although i'm not convinced they weren't doped, as they weren't in cages and didn't have collars or restraints. these tigers were raised in human captivity but they are building a "tiger island" on which they hope to raise tigers to survive in the wild. an interesting and beautiful place of scrub brush, animals and saffron robes.

the next day we went drinking on a river boat disco that floated up and down the river kwai near the famous death railway where hundreds of people were killed. history coming alive! at least it wasn't one of the karaoke boats that the thai tourists go on. i was awakened by many of these as i was staying in a guest house that floated on the river; karaoke boats go from 7 at night until 6 in the morning. thai people are insane.

i then jetted out after no sleep (stayed up talking to an islraeli man named rrrroy all night- jenya you would have been very embarrassed of my attempts at rolling the r properly) to meet eben, who had the unfortunate shock of going from a silent hermitage to bangokok. all i saw was the bus ride from the bus terminal to the train station and that was enough for me- it took 3 hours. from there it was up through chiang mai, land of package tours and dust, and now we're in mae sai on a border run into myanmar to extend our thai visa.

myanmar was interesting, although we were only there for a few hours. before coming here i wanted to avoid it like the plague but i have to admit that i'm now intrigued. travel there would be difficult, especially to avoid using government services, but could perhaps be a good experience. thoughts?

i saw the famous flaoting nun today. that is all i have to say on that matter.

o, all my warm fuzzy ones. you are so sweet. don't worry about me too much. to be honest, it was i who first brought up the idea of eben going away with the monks. he is not an asshole who abandonned me thailand. ironically, it was only a few days after we parted that i heard a bob song for the first time since we've been here. the times they are a changin'.

if i sound afraid, it is because there are things to be afraid of. if i sound lonely, it is because i sometimes am. this is no different than when i lived in canada and had a home. i didn't go travelling to feel safe and loved and cuddly all the time. if i wanted that i never would have left harmony's nasty, love-thrashed, dilapidated squooshy couch. i'd be blogging from somewhere under its excessive and extraneous pillows. i'd have nothing to do but count change that fell out of peoples' pockets.

i'm in kanchanaburi right now and it's beautiful. more rugged, more harsh than what i've seen of thailand so far. i prefer it to white sandy beaches and crystal clear blue water. reminds me of drumheller badlands but in a tropical way. for some reason i'm drawn to these extreme locations. mountains and deserts. i like that the beauty has to try so hard, reaching up through rocks and snaking through dusty earth. plants straining for just a little bit of life, mountains reaching up for heaven. lawren harris. all of the beautiful, postcard places i've seen here made me nostalgic for the Rockies. i had started to sing Land of the Silver Birch as i walked along the beaches. yup. i won't lie and say that i didn't do that.

this town has gone to the dogs

i'm in petchaburi now. the human to canine ratio is about 1:1. at night that ratio changes to 1:6. packs of angry dogs spontaneously form and follow you through the streets barking and growling.

i can't help but say that i'm confused right now. part of the reason we came to thailand was because eben wanted to experience a buddhist country. well now eben's off with the monks and i've got the rest of the country to deal with.

i have to admit that i didn't think a lot about religion before i came travelling. all i had were vague preconceptions based on nothing but our general cultural notions. malaysia- i worried because of the islamic influence and yet i found it amazingly calm, tolerant and friendly. now i'm in a country that is 95% buddhist and the place is as far from calm as one can imagine. pig's heads in the market place, bags of live toads, meat meat meat, fish scales flying through the air like flecks of gold, all the dogs have mange- puppies with no fur and distended bellies, i accidentally squished a tiny lizard under my boot, motorcycles race past, people yell FARANG at me wherever i go, old women yell at me "Beeeautiful! you are beautiful!" and grab my hands and touch my face. Everyone tells me that i shouldn't be here alone, that a pretty girl shouldn't go down that street, shouldn't go out at night. one old lady makes the comment: "you are beautiful girl- why don't you have any friend?" i guess that that was sort of funny... but- in case you hadn't heard, an english woman was gang raped and killed by four thai men just a week or so ago on ko samui. at the time i was one island over, playing jenga and drinking on the beach with a bunch of thai people i had met that day. the young woman had come to the islands for the same new years party i went to. i like travelling on my own but all the thais i meet seem to think that it is a bad idea.

what does any of that have to do with buddhism? i'm not sure, but maybe that's the problem. other than in the wats i don't really see how it reflects on the culture. why are all the animals sick or dead? why are the people so afraid for my safety? i know that rape happens everywhere. it's not a new fear. and yet...

i guess that i am just having trouble putting the religion and the culture together. i have met so many incredibly kind people here. no one seems to mind going completely out of their way to show me where the hotel i'm looking for is. old women give me candies. when i buy things and then say thank you to people in thai they often slip a few baht back into my hand with a shy smile. and yet and yet... i don't like being out at night and it's not just because of the dogs. while thailand is very tourist oriented i can also feel tension in this relationship. you could tell that the staff at the sanctuary, primarily young thai men, really hated all of the people there. everyone seemed oblivious to this as they sat around being in touch with the earth's energy and their chakras.

today i went to a wat just as the sun was going down- most of it was closed off. two monks waved me in. i looked around and they tried to talk to me but didn't know much english. they gave me a visitor book written in english and took me around to all of the things in it so i could read about them and understand what they were showing me. they opened up the galleries and showed me some areas that were locked off. they got very excited, waving me back and forth between various things. one of them told me that he liked my lip ring. they made me promise to come back tomorrow when an english speaking monk will be there who can answer my questions. it was...wonderful.

so we will conclude with- i don't know... i want to go north to see the cherry blossoms. and i shall.

happy birthday miss kerria. prepare your wings to fly away like a free bird. love you. (that last part goes out to all the rest of you as well).

veganism in a small thai fishing town -or- durian misadventures

so i'm in prachuap kiri karn right now and leaving tomorrow. yes, the flight continues. this time it's not my fault though! i planned to spend a few days looking at things but the place is so small that i managed to see them all by 3 in the afternoon. damn.

went to three wats, two of which were abandonned. the first one overlooks the city from a mountain vantage point, reached via monkey encrusted stairs. they have big yellow teeth. babies try to play with me but i clap and go "nyeee!! nyee!!" afraid that their mothers will not find me a suitable companion. they actually throw poo at me. i seriously didn't think they actually did that. the next one i go to is actually used still. this one is home to a pack of mangey dogs that roam about. monks swat them away with brooms occaisionally. i want a broom. the last wat i go to is 8km away and i go via motorcycle taxi. this one had amazing steps made of pearlised shells and dragons with conical seashells for spikes. in the caves there are two massive reclining buddhas all gold covered and purdy looking. the entrance to the caves is on a steep hill overlooking fishing boats in a bay and rice paddies. it's downright pastoral. this wat is surrounded by hundreds of roosters of exotic variety.

at this point in time i begin vaguely imagining some sort of buddhist animal gang rivallry that can only end in some sort of rooster dog monkey fight. amidst the imagining of this scenario i realise that i'm in the middle of nowhere and the only vehicle i see is a rusted bicycle ridden by an old man. i don't know thai for "do you wanna double me?" eventually a tuk-tuk driver chases me down out of nowehere and takes me back to the city. i even magage to barter the price down by 50 baht!

so now i'm here in a sleepy fishing village, tummy full of fruit and peanut butter sandwiches. i tried to get food. i really did. phrase book in hand i wandered place to place, pointing and badly trying to explain that i'm a vegan. there are confused smiles, conferences, laughter... no food arrives before me. i buy a chunk of durian. i smuggle it into my hotel room. when i go back later the german man in the room next to me gives me a weird look. i chalk it up to his being german and their natural oddities. i go into my room and the STENCH! clearly something must be done. i hustle down to the sea wall and try to secretly consume my stinking treat. i had wanted to wait for the secrecy of nightfall. it is quite an experience. the best way i could describe it would be banana pudding pureed with raw red onion. give it a try.

i'm now terrified by the relaisation that i will have to brave bangkok all on my own. gulp.

the gingerbread man

quit yer cryin- you will all get postcards. i am surprised that they arrived so soon. kerria- i didn't think they would arrive before you left so i didn't send one. now it is definately too late. should i send one to mission? you will get it when you get home from travelling! that would be odd...

it has been a busy few days of doing both random and stupid things. i will try to recap it all briefly:

first off- eben is at a meditation retreat at a buddhist monastary so i am flying solo.

went to nakhon si thammarat for the express purpose of seeing shadow puppets. i see them- they are beautiful and fantastic in all ways. i also go to a wat that has thousands of tinkling bells, hundreds of golden buddhas, a lucky elephant skeleton and a bunch of pointy white things and weird trees that make it feel like being on the moon. obviously i have never been on the moon... also, i get motor stalked again, this time by a man on a motorcycle. he pulls up 3 times and makes weird meowing noises at me. i just sort of smile and keep walking. the last time i take a closer look and what's that in his hand? o yah, it's his penis. lovely. right on a busy street at noon.

next i go up to ko phangan. a little thai girl leads me from the random point on the highway the bus lets me off on and takes me on a songtheow to the ferry. i feel like a toddler and am so grateful to her. i went to ko phangan to relax but the secluded beach i want to get to is inaccessible at this late hour. i figure i might as well check out the party scene on hat rin, infamous for its full moon parties. it is new years eve. all accomodations are full- and as every other building here is accomodation related, this means a lot of people are here! it is suggested i go to ko samui, the next island over. finally one place i ask at says i can sleep for free in a cot behind the reception desk. amazing. it's by then 11 o'clock and i go get food and go to the party. it was insane. you cannot even imagine it. everyone is completely wasted on cocktail of substances, except for me. strange. a man from croatia insists i use his cell phone to text message people back home. did you get it, harmony?

the next day is disgusting. people looking closer to dead than alive. some are still drinking. girls angrily slop through mud looking for their lost sandals and articals of clothing. the beach looks as though it will supply far off shores with beach glass for the next hundred years or so. i have to flee. i decide to hike up the coast, which the guide book claims to be possible. yes, only if you replace "popular jungle hike" with "grueling death march". they mark the trail with green dots. very handy in an overgrown jungle. finally, after numerous terrifying encounters with hand size spiders and falling coconuts and wrong paths i end up on haad tian and haad yuan, two beaches only accessible by boat or hiking. i relax, meet some cool thai people and swim. here there is a place called the sanctuary where new age hippy types, looking beautiful, carry their beautiful children around the beautiful beach and drink fruit juice and do yoga and talk about the chi. i want to throw up. the next day, for some reason i decide to continue hiking. i go for about half an hour through eye high grass, get totally lost and make the profound pronouncement of: "fuck this!" (sorry mum). i take the boat back, sprint through hat rin and get me to the ferry terminal. i never even end up going to the beach that i came to the island specifically to see. the next day i catch a boat and then a bus and end up in chumpon. i leave again soon on another bus to prachuap khiri karm, my intended destination.

i am on the run.