on the horizon

kutch--> dwarka --> junagadh--> somnath-->diu

i awoke this morning, too early, from a neurotic dream. the light had just started and i laid in bed looking up. voices, and "how much this room?", and scuffling feet came next as people arrived on a night bus from somewhere. then sadhana, distracted by the sounds of peoples' arriving, the eating of breakfast. i ran some errands, went to a beach, ran a vague spiritual errand for someone at the temple there, sat around and made pictures from the things washed up on shore, jumped around in the water, drank a coconut, and told myself stories about my own life. watched some foreigners wander about the beach and thought they looked weird. watched some indians wander about the beach and thought they looked weird. the day passed like a dream, a hazy cloud on the horizon...

so many days now of wandering around, speaking very little, watching waves, watching birds, picking up snake skins, climbing in caves. between over- zealous germans, lying bastard australians and boring english people i haven't had much patience for foreigners. they may know english, but we're still speaking a different language. the indians are what they are, and i don't think that will ever change. i'm somewhere else right now, not caught between, but in some different realm entirely. i was happy to talk to people but after a few days it all seems so flat and lifeless. i feel more energy and excitement sitting alone and looking at the horizon.