no man's land

udaipur-bundi-chittaur-mt. abu-the rann of kutch

a few days ago summer arrived and the sweat is dripping off of me like so many tears of joy. i'm writing now from the rann of kutch, the northwestern desert of gujarat. journeying out into the desert is a dusty affair and no day passes without skin, clothes and hair becoming hopelessly caked with salt and earth. the landscape here is unrelentingly harsh, daring its inhabitants with extreme heat, barren landscape and the threat of another massive earthquake. everything gets cracked one way or another- the earth, the buildings, my skin.

as with all of india, kutch is changing quickly. i've had to content myself with being a local bus pilgrim and one day out in a diesel belching 1965 taxi cab. this is because most of the desert accomodation is in the form of expensive eco-tourism far out of my budget. i'd feel happy about that if it weren't an initiative from the same government selling off everything left, right, centre and behind to chemical and salt factories blackening the blueblueblue sky. what does it matter where a few tourists shit when factories are churning out buckets of sludge into the marshes? it was an economic decision to do so in order to build funds for earthquake relief, but at what greater cost?

kutch is also heavily guarded by the military due to its proximity to pakistan. from one place i stayed you could see part of it across the gulf. heading out into nothingness one reaches invisible lines where heavily armed soldiers indicate DO NOT CROSS. it's bizarre to see the vastness and hard beauty of this place and to think that it is something to be owned. imagine a military outpost in the salt flats with nothing but pure white earth as far as the eye can see. it's both absurd and distressing.

looking out across kutch, i remember that in the end, all land is no man's land. you can draw as many lines as you want and stockpile as many guns as it please you but the sun still shines everywhere and the wind blows where it wants. we are born naked and we die naked; everything in between is simply on loan. sadly, even if we can own nothing we can still destroy everything and call it development or security. i can't help but feel that as a race we are totally screwed and sadly we're taking everything down with us. i am thankful for so many beautiful days in this place and that i have had a chance to see it before it is totally destroyed ( a destruction which i myself have now been a part of). walking alone in the emptiness i have felt true peace and i lament the violence being done all around.

and it's all good

an update on the trip: bombay-->aurangabad--> ellora and ajanta caves--> omkareshwar--> mandu-->ujjain-->udaipur

and now for an update on me. after only two days together in bombay, federico and i decided to go our seperate ways. he's not the same person he was when i met him in ladakh and our worlds are no longer the same. i was crushed, i will admit, but am now immensely thankful that this is the way things have come to pass.

i love india. if that wasn't clear. i love india. i can't even begin to describe the places i've been, the people i've met. i've been to some tourist sights, but what has overwhelmed me most on this trip is all of the tiny surprises that unfold every minute, every hour. i've seen the cotton blowing, i've seen the chick peas growing, i've wandered through the scrublands of maharashtra and madhya pradesh, and it doesn't seem to matter where i go because it's all good. nearly stepped on a cobra, lord shiva passes. saw a baby cow, just born, with the umbilical cord still hanging. meditated in a temple that sits at the navel of the world. made friends with a saddhu who took me to a magic tiny tantric cave that you have to slither into like a snake. i saw the BIGGEST bull you could imagine who goes on a nightly rampage through the sweet shops of ujjain getting handfuls of treats from slightly frightened indian people.

it's been a bit of a shock coming to udaipur from ujjain. ujjain is sacred city where foreigners don't go, except to take photos on the ghats and drive away. there's pretty much no english but it's one of the easiest places to get around, either by share tempo (one km=one rupee) or hitchhike. i stayed in a siddha ashram. my hindi has improved. i will go back to ujjain. but now i am fulfilling a promise to my dear friend nikolaz who has a guesthouse in udaipur. udaipur is beautiful but not special in the way ujjain is. too may rickshaws, whiteys and pashminas. but it is beautiful, and peaceful, and it's good to be with a dear friend, staying in a beautiful guesthouse with HOT WATER !!!!! wow. and-praise be- the internet! hooray!

so, maybe i shouldn't say that it's all good- because it never is. the sacred rivers are still clogged with trash, there's dead dogs in the street and some people are only torsos. but that's part of it too, and for now i decide not to feel bad for being happy.

om namah shivaya.