iiii DON'T want kandy! bumbumpbabumpbump.

do you ever find that you're really not liking something but you're not sure if it's the thing itself or just your own attitude that's the problem? such is my problem with sri lanka. we've had some bad luck, mishaps, cons, theft, hassles... i swear that per square foot, sri lanka has more touts than india! i swear it! also, people are fascinated with my lip ring here more than anywhere else i've been. ok. i understand that it's an uncommon thing to see but WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS? i'd estimate getting asked 5 times aday what it is. the pointing and staring cannot possibly be counted. and why do people make the special point of telling me that they don't like it? if you don't like it, get out of my face and stop staring at it!

whoo. simmer down natalie.

colombo was quite dramatic- a giant city barreling outwards, only to teeter at the edge of the crashing ocean, almost ready to fall in. i spent a day walking around that included pelicans, a giant monitor lizard and a rather uncomfortable walk through a poor muslim neighbourhood while trying to find a mosque.

we've been in the hills for the past week in a city called kandy.this city seems to endlessly create errands just as you finish your last errands. it is an evil errand alchemy. i've been here a week and barely done anything. all of my plans have been thwarted by broken umbrellas, pre-monsoon rains, leeches, couples making out behind trees, and sunday closing times. i want to see the baby elephants! why can't i see the baby elephants?

i shouldn't really complain though. eben has had much worse luck, getting his money and travellers cheques stolen out of our guesthouse. we left our room unlocked for 10 minutes while downstairs brushing our teeth. the guesthouse is run by a buddhist monk as a place for pilgrims. all of my stuff was lying out on the floor but was luckily untouched. as i said, they only had a few minutes to grab and go. sigh.

tomorrow my indian visa will be in my hand and i can leave this accursed place. into the beautiful rolling green mountains and then down to the southern beaches. fruit here is amazing. i just keep telling myself that it can redeem almost anything. there is nothing like a sweet sweet mangosteen to take the bitter taste out of your mouth.

chant hare krishna and be happy!

finally back into the land of weird technology that i don't understand.

i'm in south india right now (trivandrum, kerala)- packing up the parcel of the past month or so (running errands, errands running me), about to fly to sri lanka to renew my indian visa. i've really gotta stop traipsing around these war-torn and violent lands... my return date to canada right now is set for july 31st. i can feel it wobbling....

i just spent two weeks working on an organic Hare Krishna farm in the middle of a forest in Karnataka. and no, my poor wording should not mislead you into thinking that they grow organic Hare Krishnas. although, i guess they sort of do, because there are quite a few children growing up there. that includes three beautiful blonde Italian children who were strange and shocking to see here in India.

what an amazing place. we spent most of our time picking weeds, and yet being there was one of the best things i've experienced while travelling. work was nice. time between shifts was nice. reading, cooking lessons with krishna mai (a no nonesense indian lady), hiking, amazing food cooked with love (and without salmonella!), listening to other WWOOFers play guitar, seeing the same faces every day, getting to know people, living in a community.

although Bhaktivedanta (it's official name) was tranquil, i couldn't get my own thoughts and feelings under control . i think that the calm in the surroundings finally let me see how burnt out i'm getting. the horns and noise and pollution in most of india usually stun me into a state of stupour, my ears ringing too much to hear my own thoughts. it was shocking how violently things started pouring into my conscious mind. i didn't realise how worried i have been about things. purposeless, homesickness, wondering when i should come home and where home should be... wondering why i'm here still, what i'm hoping for, wondering if my hopes are realistic. i love india. even though it makes me sick and tired. i'm not ready to leave, but sometimes i just want somewhere quiet to be alone. that is an amazingly hard thing to find here.

reading everyone's writings, thinkings, stories today has overwhelmed me a bit. you guys all write so well, seriously. it's like i can hear you talking. i miss you guys. i miss being a part of people's lives.

happy birthday, of course, to harmony! what are your plans? i haven't been getting your emails...? also, eb and i need your mum's address to send her postcards.

does anyone know ian's address?

hare krishna hare krishna
krishna krishna hare hare
hare rama hare rama
rama rama hare hare

today i took a rickshaw and the driver didn't attempt to rip me off. he offered to take me for a price that was lower than what i had hoped to bargain down to. he even took me to the entrance of the building instead of dumping me at the gate. it made me indescribably happy.